Being Content

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:11-13

I always used to think it was odd that Paul focused on learning to be content in good circumstances as well as bad. I mean who isn't content when their lives are happy? But recently I came to realize that sometimes, having plenty can foster the most discontent in me.
There was a time a few months ago where I thought I had everything I wanted. And I was happy. At least in the beginning. Then doubt, worry, confusion and discontent started to creep in. I realized that I did not know how to be content in happy circumstances. When I felt like I needed nothing, I did not know how to act. Before this time I had gotten used to constantly praying for certain things, asking God why He did not give me what I asked for, and looking to the future with hope of things to come. I had actually learned to be content in these difficult times because I knew that God had a plan for me.
But all of a sudden there was no more wishing and wondering on my part. I was taken aback. I realized that I had lived for so long looking forward to one day seeing the fruition of God's plan for me, that I did not know how to function with getting the things I had asked for. My reliance on Christ became less of a desperate need because I felt like I had what I needed. Of course that was ridiculous because I know that without Christ I am nothing. I just could not reconcile my heart and head knowledge.
In an effort to revert back to my former ways, I started to come to God with small things, but that simply turned into me making a huge deal out of every little thing in my life rather than trusting everything to Christ like I should. It caused discontent in my life where there should be none. I started to hold on to the things that made me happy, without fully surrendering them to Jesus. This just resulted in a huge mess of discontent and confusion.
Then I finally realized that I just needed to stop trying to control my life and to fully surrender everything over to Christ and praise Him! I needed to thank Him for His blessings and get excited about where He is leading me! I needed to give over every aspect of my life and not hold on to anything. Paul knew that no matter what he was going through, whether good or bad, blessing or hardship, only Christ mattered! His happiness was found in Christ alone so when things were going badly, his source of joy was still Christ. When things were going great, his source of joy was still Christ! If that was the way I lived my life then I would always feel joyful because the source of my joy is constant! Yes I can be sad when bad things happen and happy when I am blessed with the things I desire, but my true joy is in Christ alone! He is my ultimate desire so anything else He chooses to give me is merely sprinkles on the already iced cake of my life!
When I realized that the happy things became less important, but my joy grew stronger. I know now that as long as I keep Christ at the center and praise Him continuously, then everything else will merely be muted background noise in the symphony He has written for my life.