Christianity

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:28-29)

I think when we stop looking at Christianity as being something that we deserve, something that God "owes" us, we'll start to see how mind-blowingly awesome Christ is! We don't deserve heaven. John Piper said, "There was no redemptive plan for the fallen angels. There did not have to be one for us either. Tremble with thankfulness." Many of us have never stopped to think about that fact that the very idea that we are offered the gift of salvation is crazy! We did absolutely nothing to deserve it! In fact, every single day we do things that should really take us out of the running for ever getting a chance at heaven! But how AMAZING is it that we are not what we've done. We are not defined by our mistakes, our struggles, our pain, our fears...we are defined by what Christ has done for us! He took every single mistake, however big or small (because even a white lie or a wrong thought condemns us in the judgement of a perfect, holy God), we made and would ever make and bore the punishment for us! He was brutally tortured and killed and more importantly, separated from His father for the first time in all of eternity, so that we could be forgiven and be with Him forever! So that we could have a chance at salvation!

So many people want to become Christians so that they can go to heaven or, more accurately, not go to hell. But honestly, we should be falling on our faces worshipping Christ even if we weren't given heaven in the end! Because He is STILL amazing! He is still the flipping creator of the universe who made all of us and allows to live each day! The fact that we also get to spend eternity with Him is just beyond awesome! So do we worship Him for His glory, because HE is worthy? Or because we think it benefits us?

Ultimate Love Story

"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life." (Isaiah 43:1-4)

I've always had the same dream as almost every little girl: to be rescued. I've always wanted someone to fight for me. To look at me and think "she's worth it" and then do whatever it takes to get me. To know me and all of my weird quirks and habits, all of the things I do that even I can't understand, to see all of me and to completely accept it. To want me just the way I am. I've looked for that my whole life. I looked to my friends, to boys, to everything except to the One who could actually satisfy me. The One who desires me and pursues me and thinks I'm lovely. He wants me and He always has!

It's the ultimate romance story! Here's the one who had everything, all the glory and power anyone could ever ask for. He needed nothing, no one could add to His completeness. Yet, He wants you and me! He desires and pursues us! He gave up everything, all that He had so that He could save us and we could be with Him forever! I mean isn't that every girl's dream? To have someone love you so much that nothing can keep them from you? That they'll risk everything to save you? And the craziest thing is, He chose this path, knowing full well that many of those He loved so dearly would reject Him. Leslie Ludy says, "Christ loved us without expecting us to love Him in return. As He lay dying on the cross, those He had come to save were mocking Him and spitting in His face. Can we love Him the way He loved us? Can we surrender everything to Him without expecting anything in return?" Fight for God's presence! Look to Him and Him alone to satisfy, because He's the only one who can! We are made in the image of Christ, so our purest desires are reflections of His desires. He wants to be loved and respected, longed for and pursued, trusted and hoped in! He wants to be our everything!

Will we pursue Him the way we long to be fought for? The way He fights for us?

The End of This Adventure

Wow. I cannot believe it's all over. I flew out of JoBurg Saturday, into Amsterdam Sunday and picked up a nose ring on the way out :) , then into Atlanta that night and drove home to South Carolina Monday. Everything has gone by way too fast! I really cannot believe it's over. I can't believe I won't be with my team every day anymore. I can't believe they're driving to Mozambique. I can't believe I have said goodbye to everyone. I can't believe I'm back home in my room while they're off continuing to travel the world (and Arkansas in Lauren's case). It all seems so surreal!
I'm still processing so much and I feel like I have so much more to learn! I was not ready to leave! But even though I was not ready, that did not change the fact that my time was done. I don't want to be done!
But I am and I can't try to hold on to the past. I need to embrace all the opportunities and awesome things I have to look forward to now. I have learned so much and grown so much in who I am in Christ and all the amazing things He has for me. I've gained incredible friends, people I will never forget! They have shaped me and helped me become who I am. I love who I have become! I love what God has shown me! I am so incredibly grateful for the experience I was blessed with! I love Jesus, He is seriously beyond amazing! :)
There is so much to think about! I didn't want to say goodbye! I've spent every single day for the past month with these people and now they're out of my life for a pretty extended period of time. They will constantly be in my thoughts and prayers, but it will be hard not having them pour into me every day. Not being around Birdy's wisdom and sweet heart, Chelsea's craziness and Godly wisdom, Bri's joy and love and incredible personality, Misty's loving personality and servant's heart, Kasey's wisdom and joy and fun spirit, Steve's hilariousness and worshipful heart, Justin's leadership and Godly heart and encouraging wisdom, Lauren's incredible love and joy and sweet heart and Godly wisdom, and Kristen's craziness and joy and love! Not to mention the other team I was with! I just don't know what I'm going to do without these people! I'll miss their music in my life (including actual music!) but I am so thankful for the time I had with them! And I hope and pray that I'll see a lot more of them in the future as well!
But I cling to the promise that Jesus is forever constant in my life. He puts people in my life to come and go and to mold me into who I am meant to be, but He stays with me forever! That is an extremely comforting fact in light of all this change! I love my Jesus! :) My God is so good, so string and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do! Isn't it great how children's songs usually express things so simply and so well? :)
I just cannot even express how I feel or all that God has done in my life! I'm terrible at summarizing! :) This means that there will most likely be a lot more blogs in the near future consisting of me attempting to figure out things that God is doing in my life, so feel free to read them or just let me work out my crazy beautiful life on my own :)
Again, I cannot thank everyone enough for supporting me, praying for me, loving me and encouraging me!

Prayer Requests:
-Continued growth for me! I want to apply all that I've learned to my life and not forget any of it now that I'm home
-My team is traveling to Mozambique at the moment (as far as I know at least, internet is a bit lacking where they are), which means 2-5 days on a bus and lots of border crossing so pray for safe, smooth travel and safety in Mozambique as well. They'll be in a pretty dangerous area! If you want to follow their blogs, and they are pretty amazing people so I'd consider it, here they are: http://mistyanderson.theworldrace.org/   http://briannaarnold.theworldrace.org/   http://stevenchun.theworldrace.org/  http://kaseybrinson.theworldrace.org/   http://berdienephraim.theworldrace.org/   http://justinwarren.theworldrace.org/   http://chelseabrunts.theworldrace.org/

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
-Hebrews 13:8

A Prayer From My Time in Swaziland

God you are so awesome! I am so sorry for not recognizing that more and acting accordingly! You have done so much for me! Thank you for always being there for me! For being faithful when I am faithless! Thank you for your word so we can learn who you are and how we should live! Consume me with a desire for you! A hunger for your word! There is SO much to learn and I WANT to learn it! I want to grow in my knowledge of you! I want to become more like you!
God I want your fullness, your presence! I selfishly want you to do something crazy awesome through me or in me! 
Thank you for these people God! Thank you for their willingness and desire to pray over me and each other. It is amazing and such a powerful experience! Thank you for it! Thank you for breaking me out of my shell, for giving me new boldness and taking away my fears! Thank you for who you are!
Reveal all that you have for me! Speak through me, use me! I want to play my small part in your incredible drama! I want to be free of all guilt and shame and pain. I want to let it all go and let nothing hold me back from the plans you have for me. I want to be completely open to you! Free from all bondage and embracing all truth! Continue to break me down so you can build me up into the woman you desire me to be! I know that you are in control and you will work every single circumstance in my life for something greater-even if I cannot see it now or never really see it in this life. I want to be a light in the darkness. I want the fullness of the power you have for me, the fullness of your presence. Let NOTHING stand in my way! 
Fill me. Give me revelations. Awaken gifts in me! I want to see you work in crazy ways! I want a crazy fire, an inexpressible joy, a freedom in you! And I want to take all of this with me as I return home and return to school. Let me not forget all the things that are of you!
Thank you for the boldness you have given me. Thank you for who you are! I just love you! Thank you for changing me and growing me in you. Continue to transform my life and mold me into who you desire for me to become. You are amazing! I am only who I am because of you and your grace! 
I want to worship you for who you are, not with an agenda. How dare I ask you for me than you have already given? Is your Son not enough? Is eternal life with you not enough? Are you not enough? But you are! You are all that I need. You are my heart's desire! When I pray and ask for the desires of my heart, I receive them because I receive more of YOU!!! I desire to fall more and more in love with you!

I Will Search All Through the Night

This month, we had some amazing nights of worship and 30 hours of prayer. It was pretty incredible.
During one night of spontaneous prayer and worship some pretty awesome things happened. I briefly touched on it in a previous blog, but it's on my heart again. That night was so awesome for me because it started out with such an obvious God thing (talking about wanting to be more comfortable praying out loud and then having the night start) and it was just an incredible experience all around. As it turns out, God gave me MANY opportunities to grow in boldness this month. These opportunities included-praying over my teammates, praying over a man to be healed, praying in a chapel service in front of about 30 kids, praying for dinner, praying in a church service, PREACHING a sermon in a church filled with a pretty good amount of people and a lot more. I am just in awe of God and how He has grown and changed me.
For those that know me, I am not one to step out and volunteer to pray out loud or speak something I've prepared in front of large groups. But I felt that I needed to get over that fear because "God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control". So I prayed and asked others to pray for me and my team jumped on it. Take note that God takes prayers seriously and when you ask for something He answers. He put me in some situations that I was not comfortable in, but He gave me a spirit of power.
Power. That word was given to me a lot this month. It seemed odd to me because that is not a word I generally associate with myself. But if I associate myself with Christ, then His power is a part of me! The same power that raised Christ from the dead is living inside me! I need to embrace that power! He has given me a strength I did not even know I had! I want to use that strength for His glory! "Earthly power corrupts, but power from God brings life and salvation" (Justin Warren). God really spoke to me through His word and my teammates. They all had awesome words for me that really helped me see more and more who I am in Christ!
I'm not saying I'm planning on volunteering for mass amounts of public speaking gigs or starting a revival on my campus but I am open to the the things God has for me, whatever they may be. I am actually excited to see what He has planned for me and all the ways I get to be used by Him! What an awesome God we serve! :)

"I will search all through the night,
when I find Him, I will not let Him go
come and awaken love!"
-I Will Search (Rick Pino)

My Swazi Sermon :)

So this month I was asked to preach one Sunday, along with Kristen and Lauren. Kind of an intimidating request, but also an exciting one! I decided to just throw myself into it and let God speak through me. This is roughly what I said for my part (I really wish I had Lauren or Kristen's as well because they brought it and were so filled with the Spirit!):

It's interesting to see how God can use one thing so differently in the lives of individuals. Fire is one example of this. It can be used to protect and encourage new growth in an area; it can destroy and devastate when it rages out of control; and it can be fanned into a consuming flame, devouring everything in it's path. Fire breaks are one illustration of the first use of fire.

Fire breaks are used to protect areas from random, out of control fires. An small area is burned in order to protect a larger area. To people who are unaware of what fire breaks are, they may seem frightening, confusing or out of control. The night we first arrived here in Swaziland, we saw flames lighting up the mountain in the distance. Naturally (for us), we were a little confused and wondered what was going on. The concept of fire breaks was later explained to us. The people in control of the fire breaks see their purpose even when others don't. They carefully plan them out so that they will protect areas from crazy, out of control fires. Now for people who understand fire breaks, those small fires are more of a source of reassurance than fear. What seems out of control and chaotic, has actually been planned out by one who knows what he is doing. In this case, fire is being used to protect from greater tragedies and inspire new growth in an area that had become stagnant.

This can be applied to our own lives. Many times, we go through things that seem crazy and out of control. We experience hardships and wonder what the purpose behind our pain is or where God is in the midst of it all. These times can take shape in many ways-the death of a loved one, being betrayed by a friend, abuse, the end of a relationship, the death of a dream... No matter what form it takes, it hurts. But God uses these times in our lives in ways we do not understand at first, but are actually amazing! Look at Joseph's life! He was abused by his brothers and sold into slavery, forced into hard labor, sent to prison unjustly, and forgotten by his friends. I'm sure there were many times where he wondered at the reason behind his struggles. Yet God used all of these circumstances for His greater plan! Joseph was able to save his family from starvation during a famine and bring the nation of Israel into a place where God would accomplish even more through them (using more "fiery" times)! How amazing is God?!
We WILL experience hardships and pain but they do not have to overwhelm us because we know that God is with us and He has a greater plan! What hardship will we endure that He has not first overcome? His friends died; His disciples denied him and one betrayed Him over to death; He suffered temptations; He was beaten and insulted and abused; He was brutally killed... Yet all of those things brought about our salvation! They accomplished the plans of God!
Hebrews 12:11 says "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." And James 1:2-4 tells us to "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." God uses our sufferings and hardships to grow us into the men and women He desires us to be. We just have to endure the flames until the healing begins.

Many times, Christ heals us in the aftermath of destruction. C.S. Lewis said that, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, but shouts to us in our pains." That is so true! We grow so much more when we are stripped down to nothing and forced to rely completely on God because everything else has been taken away. Sometimes He has to wound us further in order to truly heal us. He will enable us to serve Him in even greater ways after we have come through the fire. We may be a bit burned and battered, but this is how we are equipped to accomplish our best work through Christ. If we do not experience certain hardships in our lives then we may never be able to fulfill the awesome purpose God has for us! He uses our deepest hurts to awaken a passion in our hearts that He will use to help us truly impact others.
Many times our most intense wounds and secret pains become the source from which we draw our strength. They make our hearts come alive. Maybe you will meet someone who has been through what you have been through and you will be able to help them in a way no one else can. God may use you to council victims of abuse or help someone to find their true passion or discover that Jesus is constant even when everything around them has fallen away. Whatever plan He has for you, it will be amazing if you allow yourself to see that He has a purpose behind the flames of pain in your life!

Lauren then spoke about how sin can consume our lives and a small spark can destroy an entire forest if we are not careful but the saving grace of the gospel can restore what has been burned. Kristen gave an awesome illustration of the Holy Spirit as an all-consuming fire.

On Fire :)

It has been an intense week! Awesome, but intense! While making firebreaks to stop accidental fires, ironically an out of control fire got started. We were running around trying to put it out-grabbing water, beating flames with flames with branches and blankets...it was CRAZY! Everyone was freaking out but it all turned out okay! Charmain, the head lady here, was so chill about it. She said it's happened before. She is such an amazing woman of God who just completely trusts him with everything. There have been so many tough things for her to handle but she never gets upset, she just takes it all in stride and keeps her focus on Jesus and the kids. It is so inspiring to see her and just really reminds me that God is completely sovereign, so obviously worrying or freaking out is just pointless. He's got it under control!
I also got sort of sick for about a day, but it wasn't too bad. Everyone was sweet and willing to help. I seriously love these people! I have had some awesome talks with them and God has already used them SO much in my life and I've gotten to help them out as well! I got to feel like God was really speaking through me when I was having a conversation with Kristen. I was just saying things that came to my mind from passages of scripture I'd been reading and it ended up being exactly what she needed to hear! How awesome is God?! Everyone is always speaking encouragement to each other and pointing out the things others are doing well. There is so much love and acceptance! And they're all insanely fun as well :) It's so different here, I love it!
Lauren has also been such a blessing! We are so similar in so many ways and have had ridiculously similar experiences. It has been awesome to talk with her and learn from her. She is such a woman of God who just does what He tells her and knows what she believes. I am so thankful God put her on my team; it was definitely no accident! :)
Another really cool thing has been Justin & Tiffany, the married couple here. They are just amazing and it has been so cool to see a Godly marriage being loved out between people near my age (26 & 27). Justin is always serving Tiffany whenever she needs anything and she is such a hard worker who is always looking out for him. It's been awesome to watch a Godly couple, and I do definitely love couples :)

I'm learning to really expect things from God and believe He's going to come through for me. I even get disappointed if it doesn't happen, but I'm not upset or angry at God obviously because He is still God and He's already done WAY more for me than I deserve. I'm just learning a huge part of having actual faith-being SURE of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Obviously that is in reference to the Gospel itself but I believe it can be applied to other things as well. I used to think that faith was just having no real expectations and just going with whatever happened. I do think that you need to accept God's will, whatever it is, but that does not mean that I can't ask God for things, hope for them, and believe that He is going to answer my prayers. Because He has answered them! Time and time again! Whenever Jesus healed people He told them that they were healed because of their faith. If they had come at it with the mindset of "oh well, if He heals me that's great, if not that's cool too" then would they really have had faith? Instead they completely believed that He was able to heal them at that moment and that He would! I want that mindset, that faith.
I really want to continue to learn more and more from everyone here, from God and His word, from this ministry, from these kids...just this whole experience! God is showing me SO much! It's awesome! I'm not ready for it to be over but I'm excited to get to take back all that I've learned.

Prayer requests: Lauren, Kristen and I are preaching Sunday! The kids here and their faith, Charmain and all the things she's going through, my team and the other team here as they head to Mozambique next month, the World Race as a whole, safe travel, and we're going to be having 30 hours of prayer and fasting from Saturday at 9pm until Sunday at 3am! :) Love you all! Thanks for your prayers!

Awesome God!

These past 2 weeks have been awesome! We've been playing with babies, hanging out with kids, searching through garbage pits, raking leaves, organizing/cleaning a gross garage, cutting down trees and tons of other stuff! At night we worship, have bonfires, have team time and hangout. It's pretty cold here but you warm up during the day when you're working. We have beds, hot showers (sometimes), a kitchen and electricity!
The kids are adorable! They love to play and go on walks. They are all so full of joy! They have clothes, beds, food to eat and they get to go to school! There are huge pigs, geese, pigeons (nasty birds), cows, goats and dogs here as well. The view is always incredible, the sunsets are insane and the people are so sweet!
I love team time! We give people feedback which is basically praising them for things they do and encouraging them on things they can work on. It's a really awesome thing because it's all spoken in love and from a place of really wanting each other to grow in Christ!

It is so nice to be able to sit and talk to Jesus while looking at His amazing creation! I've learned so much through spending time with Him and in His word and talking to the people around me. I want the joy and freedom and contentment they have in Him! I've read through Paul's letters in the New Testament and decided that Paul is my favorite person! I just love his heart and mind for Christ!
I love praying over people and being prayed over! It is such a cool experience when you really embrace it! I'm so grateful for these experiences and this opportunity and how I get to break out of my shell! I was telling two of the girls how I hate praying out loud but want to get over that and then another girl walks in and suggests we pray for some of the people who are sick and then the whole thing turned into an awesome night of prayer and worship! God is so good!
That night was awesome! I loved getting excited about Jesus and worshiping Him and feeling Him move in that room! Through it God just freed me of so much pain/hurt/confusion, things I'd been holding onto while trying to get over at the same time. Once I just gave it to God and immersed myself in Him and His word He freed me from it! I am so happy and I feel like myself again! He gave me an indescribable joy and feeling of peace! I am so grateful! God is so good!
I'll write more next week but my time's up now. I just can't wait to get home and pour into others the way I've been poured into. To share what God's been teaching me. It's such an amazing experience and I am so blessed to have been given this opportunity! Thank you so much for all your prayers, support and love! You have no idea how much it means to me! God bless! :)

Travel and Team!

After 24 hours of traveling we finally made it to JoBurg! The flights weren't bacd, lots of sleeping and movies. I got to see Mr. & Mrs. Gestring and lots of the university students I met last year in the airport! It was awesome! :)
2 World Racers came to get us in the airport and we drove to the hostel we were staying at for the night. It was freezing! The next morning I met some awesome people and finally got to meet my contact, Birdy. All the racers are so legit! We had some great conversations and I loved hearing about all their experiences!
Saying goodbye to everyone from training camp was so sad and weird! We already felt like a team! Lauren, Kristen and I left with our two teams. There were 16 of us, plus 2 drivers and 2 other passengers. One guy had to stand up our whole drive, which was over 5 hours. Our tire blew out about 2/3 of the way there but it got fixed quickly. We finally got to the Swazi border and then to El Shaddai around midnight.
My team is: Justin (our leader; an awesome and wise man of God with such a heart for the team and for God). Steve (hilarious, really talented musician, and great with people), Misty (such a hard worker, full of love), Birdy (has an amazing testimony and such a heart to serve), Chelsea (so joyful, hilarious and a real heart for Christ), Kasey (sweet, caring and wise), and Bri (such a joy and encouragement, Christ is so evident in her and her servant's heart). Lauren is the other girl on my team from training camp. She has such a heart for missions and has the gift of wisdom and prophecy. I love her!
The other team is: Rachel (the leader; fun, wise, strong in her faith), Mark (strong man of God with an amazing story), Kim (passionate servant), Katy (photographer, artsy, sweet, joyful, beautiful heart) and a married couple Justin (hilarious, hard working servant of Christ) & Tiffany (sweet, caring, hard working servant). Kristen is on their team-she's hilarious and I love her!
There are so many musical people on my team (which if you know me you know I  LOVE). Someone is always playing guitar or mandolin or singing! These people are incredible and I'm so blessed to spend the next month with them!

Quick Blog for Swaziland!

So I have a whole actual blog written but I'm using a computer in an internet cafe and my flash drive doesn't work so I'll just have to do a short one!
First off, Swaziland is beautiful! We are on a mountain and The view is seriously insane! :) Our days mainly consist of working from 9-3 (cleaning a camper, digging holes, making fire breaks-to keep the orphanage from burning down if there's a real fire, raking leaves, playing with the babies...) and then helping the older kids with their homework from 3-5, doing chapel with the kids and then dinner and time with our teams. My team is so legit! I'll write more about them next week.
The kids are so adorable and fun and smart! Most of the older kids know at least 3 languages (English, SiSwati, Zulu...). They love to learn and talk with us. I've met a 9 year old girl named Gift who is hilarious and so fun! We hang out everyday, I love her! :) She'll get her own blog as well.
God is really doing some awesome stuff in me. It's so great to get to sit on a rock and look out at His amazing creation and just talk to Him. I've read through Acts and 1 & 2 Corinthians so far and I've decided Paul is one of my favorite people ever! I've just been seeing things that I never really thought about, it's been awesome!
I've also done a prophecy exercise with my team. Before this I was kind of wary of prophecy and all that, but as I've been reading the Bible and talking with my team, I've realized it's really Biblical. It was AWESOME to see God speak to people and just give them the perfect words for others. I'm out of time now so I'll have to talk more about all this later but basically, God is rocking my world and I love it! :)
Thanks for all the prayers! Love you all! :)

Training Camp Awesomeness!

I am in awe of the awesomeness of God! He is always amazing but I do not notice it nearly enough, so He is constantly reminding me.

Today a girl at training asked me if I wanted to go to the store with her before we left, she was taking a cab and said she would pay but just didn't think she should go alone. I didn't have anything to do, but a part of me just didn't want to go for somereason. However, as most people probably know, I hate saying no to people so I figured "why not?" and agreed. When we got in the cab our driver turned out to be from Ghana! (This is another country in Africa for those who don't know). How crazy is God?! What a small world, right? I heard another girl today say that "Our world is pretty big, but our God is WAY bigger!" :)

Anyway, we ended up having a great conversation just about Africa, Ghana, what we would be doing and other interesting topics. He had a really cool perspective on a lot of things. This whole experience so far (and by that I mean 2 days! Crazy!) has made me realize how much I have missed deep, spiritual conversations, conversations about actual issues, healthy discussions...all of it! I'm someone who thrives on things like that! I am awful at small talk but I will totally dive into deep stuff with people!

There's just something about being with people who you just met, who don't know your past or your friends, who have the same ultimate desire as you, and who just love that Lord that makes for accelerated friendships and deep talks! I love it! I already feel like I've known everyone forever and we all know such deep, personal things about each other (which is kind of uncommon for me this quickly with people).

God has also used them to speak such truth into my life and bring so many things to my attention. Today a big focus we had was speaking truth over one another and being open and encouraging each other. It really is amazing! God has already shown me so much! Some of you (more high school friends than college) may know that I consider myself to be a pretty shy, reserved person (until I get to know you) and definitely not a social butterfly or huge people person. But I decided to try and work on that and to just be myself and not worry about what people thought of me, to an extent and I've found that I actually can be pretty social! :) Of course, being with people you won't be seeing for an extended period of time does make it easier but it is just nice to know that I can be myself and be accepted. I don't think many people here would assume I'm shy, which is so strange to me, but I love it!

Our leader was talking about how she always thought that God spoke to people but just not to her and then how she realized He speaks to us all differently and how she processes through writing and I just realized that is so true of me! I now feel like God reveals things to me as I write or talk things out with people, so this blog may get intense-be ready :) There were so many other things as well, overall it has just been such an amazing time of growth and encouragment. I cannot wait to get to Africa and continue on this journey!

I've heard this before, and a girl here brought it up today, that "I need Africa more than Africa needs me". That is such a truth! A couple of us were talking about how God reveals things to us in Africa and through mission work and we come away feeling more changed than changing others. Some people can learn the lessons we learn right here in America but we need to get out of our daily lives and comfort zones and continents! The joy they have there and the lives they lead just show me so much. Selfishly, I like who I am there, more than when I'm comfortable and at home. I truly desire to live that life all the time and continue it when I come home, but I find it so much harder! Some of you may know that I'm more scared for God to call me to stay in America and live some wealthy, priveleged life than for Him to tell me to go live in a hut! But God has definitely shown me how essential people who are blessed are to the ministry that I, and others like me, feel called to. Without support, we would be nowhere!

Wow, so this is crazy long! Sorry! It's just everything God's been teaching me all at once! :) I'm flying out today at 3pm so please keep my team and I in your prayers! It's going to be amazing! God bless! :)

God is So Sovereign!

So I'm with my first "team" (meaning the girls-and one boy-who I'm flying out with but then we'll be splitting up further to go out to different countries and regions) and they are incredible! It is just amazing to see how God brings the perfect people into your life and the perfect time! We have already had amazing, Godly conversations full of wisdom for each other and amazing perspectives! I'm already learning from them! They all have such amazing hearts for God and his people! I cannot wait to see how each of them are used by Him over the next month and beyond!
There will be two girls going to Swaziland along with me (the rest will be in South Africa) and one of those girls will be on the same world race team I am joining. They are both amazing and so Godly and fun! It is just incredible to see how God places such different people together who just work with each other! It's only been a few hours but I already see so many similarities and wonderful differences that are just so encouraging and helpful!
I am so excited and I cannot wait to learn more about what I'll be doing and see everything God has in store! I am also amazed by God's planning as there is a guy I went to high school with who is over in Swaziland now as well! It has been great getting to talk to him a little just to kind of get a feel for the place. His name is Reh Harvey and I would encourage you all to pray for him and the work he is doing! He is presenting the True Love Waits campaign in schools in an effort to protect the students from AIDS and to share the love of Christ with them!
I don't know how often I'll be able to update this blog but as often as I can, I will! I love you all! Thank you for the prayers! They mean the world to me! God bless! :)
He must become greater, I must become less."
-John 3:30

Where I'll Be!

I finally got to talk to the team I'll be meeting up with in Swaziland! Team Fruit of the Groom! They seem really awesome and tons of fun! It was great to get to talk to some of them, plus, I found out where I'll be for the next month! I'm going to be in the Northwestern area of Swaziland in the Ekufikeni Valley which I think is in the Hhohho district. It's a pretty rural area so I don't know exactly where I'll be but that's my best guess :)
I'm going to be working in the El Shaddai orphanage (www.elshaddaiswaziland.org). I still don't know specifics beyond that but I know it's going to be amazing!
Swaziland is a small country within the country of South Africa. It has the highest known rates of AIDS/HIV. The average age of a person living in Swaziland is 18, most people don't live over the age of 30. It is estimated that by 2050, Swaziland will not even exist anymore because of the extremely high death rate due to AIDS/HIV. There is also a huge stigma attached to AIDS so people will not admit they have it or get tested for it so it spreads rampantly.
I cannot believe I am leaving for training camp tomorrow and then flying out THIS THURSDAY! SO crazy! :) I am so excited to see what it is going to be like and what God has planned! :)

Why I Love Africa

So I just spent the past hour looking at blogs and watching videos from other World Race participants and I am now so nostalgic for Africa! I cannot wait to be back there! The food, the houses, the grass, the trees, the flowers, the animals, the views, the sunsets, the people! I just love it all! I know this experience will be completely different from my last one but I'm extra excited about it! The hearts of these people have are just incredible. They are not perfect but they are just constantly striving to be more like Christ and get closer to him! That is such a beautiful goal! One that I want to have every moment of every day!

I cannot believe that I will be in Swaziland in about 2 weeks! That is just crazy! I have been looking forward to returning to Africa ever since I left last summer but it still hasn't hit me that I will actually be there next month! I can't wait to be changed, to see God change lives and to experience everything He has for me! I want my world to be rocked!

I have wanted to do mission work in some way, shape or form for a long time now. I've always had quirky characteristics that made my parents and family friends tell me I could be a missionary in another country (for example, I can survive off very few showers and I love sleeping on the floor). But once I experienced my first overseas mission trip to the Dominican Republic my senior year of high school and then got to go on a mission trip to South Africa last summer, God truly lit a fire in me for missions.
There is just something about getting out of our culture of wealth and excess and apathy and experiencing a different way of life that I absolutely love. People in these countries are similar to us in many ways, but it is the ways in which they are different that draws me in. Children who never stop smiling once a team of high school or college kids shows up with only stickers, strings, soccer balls and cameras. Adults who just want to sit and talk to you about how you are doing. Women selling various things in malls who remember you when you return and take the time to ask you how you're enjoying their country. Little boys who grab Bible passages in their language and, as opposed to other children who merely collect the nice paper books, lead a group of kids and try to evangelize to adults in their village even when they are repeatedly turned away. So yes the countries are beautiful and exotic but these are the things that inspire me, these are the people who challenge me.
And the thing that breaks my heart is that most of them are so lost! They don't know the love of Christ. They are living in horrible poverty and yet they can still be joyful, imagine how much greater their joy would be if they knew the Saviour! Another wonderful thing about these people? I believe that they WANT to hear about Jesus. That they WANT to be given a chance at a new beginning, a saving grace! They are not jaded to the gospel; many of them have never even HEARD the gospel! It is so refreshing to be around people who do not just dismiss Christians as judgmental hypocrites (though many people claiming to be Christians in America are, another sad fact that breaks my heart and frustrates me to no end). This is the reason I love Africa and why I cannot wait to go back.

Swaziland!

I just found out where I'll be spending the month of July...SWAZILAND! I am really excited about this because it is new and I have no past experience with it which means I will be completely trusting everything to God (which I should obviously do anyway). Now I can't wait to find out who my team is! 2 weeks until training camp!!! :)

Uncertainty

I usually hate uncertainty, but sometimes I don't want to know why. Sometimes I just want to sit back and enjoy the beauty, appreciate the miraculousness of it all. Those are the times I'm most amazed by God, the unsolved mysteries of life.

Being Content

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:11-13

I always used to think it was odd that Paul focused on learning to be content in good circumstances as well as bad. I mean who isn't content when their lives are happy? But recently I came to realize that sometimes, having plenty can foster the most discontent in me.
There was a time a few months ago where I thought I had everything I wanted. And I was happy. At least in the beginning. Then doubt, worry, confusion and discontent started to creep in. I realized that I did not know how to be content in happy circumstances. When I felt like I needed nothing, I did not know how to act. Before this time I had gotten used to constantly praying for certain things, asking God why He did not give me what I asked for, and looking to the future with hope of things to come. I had actually learned to be content in these difficult times because I knew that God had a plan for me.
But all of a sudden there was no more wishing and wondering on my part. I was taken aback. I realized that I had lived for so long looking forward to one day seeing the fruition of God's plan for me, that I did not know how to function with getting the things I had asked for. My reliance on Christ became less of a desperate need because I felt like I had what I needed. Of course that was ridiculous because I know that without Christ I am nothing. I just could not reconcile my heart and head knowledge.
In an effort to revert back to my former ways, I started to come to God with small things, but that simply turned into me making a huge deal out of every little thing in my life rather than trusting everything to Christ like I should. It caused discontent in my life where there should be none. I started to hold on to the things that made me happy, without fully surrendering them to Jesus. This just resulted in a huge mess of discontent and confusion.
Then I finally realized that I just needed to stop trying to control my life and to fully surrender everything over to Christ and praise Him! I needed to thank Him for His blessings and get excited about where He is leading me! I needed to give over every aspect of my life and not hold on to anything. Paul knew that no matter what he was going through, whether good or bad, blessing or hardship, only Christ mattered! His happiness was found in Christ alone so when things were going badly, his source of joy was still Christ. When things were going great, his source of joy was still Christ! If that was the way I lived my life then I would always feel joyful because the source of my joy is constant! Yes I can be sad when bad things happen and happy when I am blessed with the things I desire, but my true joy is in Christ alone! He is my ultimate desire so anything else He chooses to give me is merely sprinkles on the already iced cake of my life!
When I realized that the happy things became less important, but my joy grew stronger. I know now that as long as I keep Christ at the center and praise Him continuously, then everything else will merely be muted background noise in the symphony He has written for my life.

First Post

Okay so this is my first time ever doing a blog and I don't really know how it's going to work out. I love to write so basically my plan is to just write things that God is teaching me and document the incredible opportunities He gives me, such as going to Africa this July! I appreciate any feedback or suggestions! Thanks for checking this out! God bless! :)